Prepare to question everything you think you’ve ever known about some things.
— Sir Bernard Moore

It's 1992. The Doomsday Clock is the furthest it has ever been from midnight. It's the safest, most peaceful and contented time planet Earth has known since the invention of atomic weapons. But not everywhere is as safe as everywhere else in the world . . .

Here we are in Hobsick. Population: 2,001. A secluded village located somewhere just south of the north of the midlands. Seven miles to the east, a busy dual carriageway barely acknowledges that Hobsick exists, pointing any potential traffic down a sinister, unnamed B-road. To the west of the village sags the overgrown, potholed remains of twelve miles of another dual carriageway, as good as severed from civilization by a landslide in 1967. Between these two bypasses, shrouded by dense, ancient woodland, dismal bogs and bracing moors throngs Hobsick: a flabby smudge of pebble-dashed pubs and draughty prefabs, red-brick terraced cottages adorned with gaudy window boxes bursting with fresh nettles, a well-tended allotment, a filling station with a selection of horror film videos to rent for 40p per tape per night, two competitive chip shops, and a newly refurbished community centre with a reclaimed asbestos roof. People stare at each other from behind net curtains, mend tractors, prank-call one another, attend boiled egg painting classes, start turf wars and enjoy a thriving thrash metal scene.

But certain aspects of village life entangle the place in mystery . . . historically the village was established centuries ago on the site of an ancient village of the same name . . . the surrounding woods aren't safe because they are full of lions (last estimate: 80 lions) . . . a higher than normal proportion of men have the first name Keiron . . . hedges get trimmed at the wrong time of year by ghostly gardeners who shout "Stan!" at one another . . . cigar-shaped space alien crafts have been sighted on at least several occasions by local residents, closely followed by ash tray-shaped unidentified flying saucers, and pursued by scotch bottle-shaped military jets . . . space aliens have even been seen in the Cross Keys trying to pay for large rounds of drinks with pre-decimal currency . . .

But the most persistently challenging mystery of all is Sir Bernard Moore. What is he? For twenty years he has treated Hobsick as his playground, and suffered the consequences: mangled in a tricycle wreck joyriding in 1973; shot in the head in 1977 whilst stealing buns; thrown off a dam by visiting Texas Rangers in 1980; swallowed whole (and evidently regurgitated) by Mandy the village anaconda, September 12, 1990 . . . witnesses have seen him drowned, struck by lightning, mauled by pigs, run over by a bin lorry, crushed under a car-port, washed out to sea locked in a chest freezer . . . he has been known to consume buttered stones, a pint of sand, rancid scampi, a massive bee and watch batteries. How do the people of Hobsick cope with this unemployable, misunderstood, drunk, gobby zombie? Despite all the tethers and tranquilizer darts, electric fences and curfews, arrests, threats, car chases and court appearances, he has continued to blunder and shapeshift his way into their lives. Did he need sectioning? Did he need counselling? Did he need packing off to a yoga retreat in Chesterfield to 'find himself'?

No. It turned out all he needed was a portable tape recorder, a microphone and a sense of purpose.

A down-to-earth, heartwarming and feel-good action adventure show, with a generous sprinkling of credible, one-dimensional unsavouries, and where the good guys always tend to win!

Join Sir Bernard Moore on this incredible journey of a person in a place doing things with other people in the area.

The Sir Bernard Moore Show is created, written, produced, directed, performed, recorded and edited by the Dethick Brothers.

You can read their interview with Pod Bible here, which goes into some detail about the creation of the show and its sources of inspiration.

The trailer and Series 1 are listed below - you can listen to them and follow the show via your preferred podcasting platform, Acast, YouTube and Vimeo.

the sir bernard moore show

Trailer

Q: What happens when the unemployable, misunderstood, drunk, gobby, zombified son of a shape-shifting 96-year-old billionairess receives a tape recorder and microphone for Christmas?

A: The Sir Bernard Moore Show.

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RELEASE DATE: 1 MARCH 2023

series 1

The Brass Plaque

Episode 1

Sir Bernard Moore is set to re-open the newly-refurbished Hobsick Community Social Event Club Ballroom Tearoom Theatre, with a ‘new asbestos roof and three coats of creosote all round’, but things do not go to plan as an uptight health and safety at work executive scuppers proceedings. It’s a good job Uncle Elliot is there to save the day, with a giant black forest gateau . . .

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RELEASE DATE: 8 MARCH 2023

sentimental hogwash!

Episode 2

An unexpected phone call from disgruntled radio boss, Larry Susan, throws Bernard and Uncle Elliot into panic mode. They have to deliver a brand-new episode that same day, or they’re off-air forever. Cue chaos, an impromptu guest well out of his depth, a mad cross-country dash in Mrs Moore’s van, and an ill-fated meeting with Larry in his bungalow that goes disastrously wrong.

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RELEASE DATE: 15 MARCH 2023

a hobsick odyssey: discoveries of the then and mysteries of the now

Episode 3 - Feature-Length Special

Microphone? Check. Tape recorder? Check. Velcro trainers? Check. An unquenchable thirst to pursue, hunt down and snare the truth, whatever the consequences? You bet your ass! Sir Bernard Moore is on a mission in his hometown of Hobsick: ‘Does a place make the people, or do the people make the place?’ Don’t look too hard, Bernard, you just might find out!

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RELEASE DATE: 22 MARCH 2023

adventures in love and space (part 1)

Episode 4

With Bernard away with his mother ‘. . . at the villa for the villa holiday’, local DJ Mrs Disco takes over to present a programme of music. Here she talks to Adam ‘Clunkus’ Fairbrother, the woefully naive yet stubbornly optimistic frontman of synth-pop band Promiser, exploring the real-life stories behind his romantic/crime-ridden/alien abduction-themed new album. And how his life was never the same again after falling in love with the infamous Suzy Chainsaw . . .

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RELEASE DATE: 29 MARCH 2023

Adventures in love and space (part 2)

Episode 5

Mrs Disco continues her interview and music review with ‘Clunkus’, as he talks about the bizarre events and people which inspired his new album. Expect tales of getting locked in airport toilets, shampooing carpets, scrapes with the criminal underworld, what not to do with a flute, and how a hatchback cannot stay on a beach for very long without getting wet.

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RELEASE DATE: 5 APRIL 2023

the shrew of truth

Episode 6

Has Sir Bernard Moore made a mistake inviting his ‘old nemesis from the school yard’, Keiron Bunsey, onto the show? Keiron is now a self-proclaimed fortune-teller and clairvoyant, and when an interfering Uncle Elliot opens a sack that Keiron has brought with him, Keiron’s claims of having a ‘spiritous connection to the apheous world’ appear to be true . . .

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RELEASE DATE: 12 APRIL 2023

ticks of the mind

Episode 7

Uncle Elliot has been working for two years on a script about the mysteries and wonder of the human mind. Now is his big chance to show off. Pity then that he can’t spell the word ‘tricks’, and that he and Bernard swiftly descend into bickering, upset the special guest, Professor Andrew Candle, and attempt to get him arrested for the grand crime of possibly stealing a milk float in the 1970s. Is all of this really happening, or is Elliot’s mind in fact playing a trick on him?

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RELEASE DATE: 19 APRIL 2023

wings of danger

Episode 8

Sir Bernard Moore is in a mess. Ever since workmen arrived at Householme Hall - the grand and chronically-dilapidated 99-bedroom mansion he shares with his mother - life has taken a dark and mysterious turn. It’s all down to the strange monolith they dug up on the edge of the estate, or so Bernard says. He claims to be in mortal danger, and the only person he knows who can help him is Uncle Elliot, newly back from his annual holiday in Scotland . . .

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RELEASE DATE: 26 APRIL 2023